Hey, House of Cards, where are you?

When you first came on the scene on the first Friday of February 2013, I felt I hit the television jackpot. That weekend my husband and I put our life on hold; we drank gallons of tea; we shook each other whenever one of us tried to doze off. We binged watched thirteen hours of television. Lots of details didn’t make sense, but we didn’t care. We marveled at the tenacity of Frank Underwood and Claire Underwood. At the end of the first season, our eyes felt like glass, but we couldn’t wait to see the future political maneuvering of Underwoods.

In 2014, you decided to mess-up with our lives. You showed up on Valentine’s day. We rushed through our evening celebrations; we got our desserts packed. My husband gave up midway. But he gave me permission to cheat. I watched you alone until the wee hours of the morning. I vowed never to make acquaintance/ friends with any politician ever. Yet, I waited for what-happens-next.

Thankfully, you didn’t muck my special days in 2015. As my husband was traveling, I binged watched you alone. In the end, I had a headache and I felt as if I cheated on my husband for nothing. You were boring. I wanted Netflix to reimburse me for my thirteen hours of pain. (Oh, I re-watched you with my husband.) I detested the Underwoods. I wanted to punch Frank’s conceited constipated face. But I was enthralled with Thomas Yates. I wanted to write like him. I waited for the next season to find out who wins: Frank or Claire.

I was reluctant to watch your fourth season in March 2016. You left on such a gloomy note. On the one hand, I wanted to know if Claire will have Frank killed like the original book and BBC series. By this time, my husband saw through you. Your shine was wearing off. But I couldn’t resist binge watching. I almost quit when you killed Meechum. Why, why, why? It was funny watching anorexic holder of The Killing as polished Will Conway. Even though I knew Underwoods will never lose in any situation, it was fun watching how they get themselves out of situations. It is only when Claire finally broke the fourth wall, I felt you delivered.

In the year 2017, you arrived at the worst time. On a Tuesday, a day after the Memorial Day weekend. What happened, couldn’t you wait until Friday? Previously you came always on a Friday, which gave me a weekend to recover. On top of that, I had to watch all the previous seasons, as I was lost in all the characters and storylines. And I hoped that at least on television, a woman will become the president by a clear win. But no. Claire was the president, because of political loopholes. And of course, you made me hate her. She was so nonchalant as she killed Yates.

Now, it is 2018, your sixth season. I have invested sixty-five hours of my life binge watching you. I am ready to say goodbye to you. You were the most exciting television when you first launched. Now, you have become too complicated. Like a daytime soap opera, your characters come and go and come back again.

At times, there are big huge holes in your plot. You want me to believe that out of 435 House of Representatives and 100 Senators and people in the Executive branch, no one, not one person is smarter than Frank. Nah. Even in fiction, it is too fictional. Things just don’t make sense. I want my therapist to explain the psychology of Freddy. Did he always hate Frank? I re-watched the previous seasons and there is no such indication. See this is the reason you need to wrap it up.

I have high expectations from your final season. Give me some woman power. 2018 is the year of the women. Yes, Claire, the liar, and the murderesses will become the president. I will take her conniving ass over the current-real-life president. Get Constance Zimmer’s Janine Skorsky back. Like her kick-ass character Quinn King in UnReal, she can take down Claire. Let’s have both good and evil represented by women. Enough with the status quo of powerful white men both in real life and television.

Whatever you decide, make it worth my time. Make me love you once again. And make it soon, as I am tired of waiting and keeping the storylines straight in my head.


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